heyhey!!! GRACE [finally] SPEAKS:

haha. i kind of havent shared finish my testimony yet right.. but dont have time to type everything here. baaah. i've been busy volunteering my service at Worldvision. in case you dont know what is that, its a christian organisation that helps the third world country families. wow, i think God gave me a heart for the poor families when i was volunteering there. there was one poster that left the deepest impression on me. i'll try to describe it.. there are pictures of the little children in the third world country, happy faces yet miserable look in their eyes. and the words that were in bold: FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD BELONGS TO SUCH AS THESE. the poster is so heart wrenching. i mean, God's kingdom belongs to us and belongs to them as well!! them who are living in poverty and hunger. and we?? in air-con!! gosh. what injustice! so one of the goal of Worldvision is to seek justice for these ppl by providing them with daily necessities, etc.. i share this vision man!!! hahaha. and i told our friendly person-in-charge that i'm definitely gonna return back to Worldvision to help. haha, hopefully in a more value-added way like being one of their MISSIONARY DOCTORS!!! [fellow doctor-to-be Soks, i'm gonna rope you in too. watch out. hahaha.] and this is the message that i personally want to bring to them and pray it will bring them hope in the midst of their harsh environment:

"Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?" -- James 2:5

yupp.. i received a lot from Worldvision throughout the whole week of volunteering. oh esp yesterday when i was talking to this lady called Susan from New Creations Church. i think she's a retiree and regular volunteer at Worldvision. but anyways, it started with an urge to talk to her. haha. dont ask me why. ask the Holy Spirit. we were doing stuff on the same table, and i just felt that she somehow has gone thru a lot in life and has a lot of things to share and a lot of things that i can learn from her. so it started with an innocent qns that i asked her, "how do you know if something is really God's will for you??" and she said that it is the Holy Spirit that is living in us that will guide us. we need not rely too much on our own strength, because then we'll grow weary easily. but instead, we should leave it to the Holy Spirit. if something is not God's will, then there will be an uneasy feeling. then i cant remember what we were talking about.. but the topic was changed to knowing God's character. one of which is, whatever we do, we can be certain that God will still love us. and we must grasp thst fact, and be sure of our position in Christ. then only will we live a life to its fullness.

how then can we be good testimonies for Christ, especially in front of our oikos?? you know sometimes i find it so frustrating that i cant live up to my own expectations of what it means to be a good testimony, then i'll blame myself for doing those ungodly things (eg. joining in during gossip time or something). then i heard something that no one told me before---to just be who you are. a lot of times, i try my best to guard my mouth, ears, thoughts, etc and until i find it so difficult to be a good testimony. but i guess what Susan said was true. to just be myself! HOWEVER, also making my stand clear when dealing with things that displeases God
(eg. dirty jokes, vulgarities). its okae to have slip-ups occassionally, because i am not perfect! knowing that God has forgiven me of my sin when Jesus Himself became sin and died on the cross for me, and knowing that He still loves me.. that's enough! we are the recipients and God is the giver. so recieve love and forgiveness from Him. the special thing about God is that when we drink from His river, we will not feel thirsty anymore. [sidenote: ever wondered why Jesus said, "come to Me all ye weary and heavy laden?" -->there must be something special about Him!] only when we have received enough from Him, then will it be possible to flow out naturally from us. and it is this---the natural outflow from our hearts---that will be the true testimony that can bring glory to God. only when we've received, can we then speak forth life to others. we dont have to try so hard with our own strength, because it will come naturally when we ourselves receive from the Lord. wow, i think Susan herself is a good testimony of her response to my qns. this really ministered to me because i've grown so tired of having to try my best to be a good testimony for God esp in sch. i will always be so afraid that i will stumble and say or do something wrong and it will leave a wrong impression on my pre-believer friends. my prayer for all of us is that we will continue to receive from the Lord and may we pour out love sincerely which comes from our hearts and not from obligation.

oh yes, Susan also told me to meditate on what it means to be IN CHRIST and having CHRIST IN ME. i havent got any revelations yet.. haha. open to discussion!! what do you all think?? what does it mean to be in Christ and having Christ in me??

God is love. without love, there is no God.